Who’s Scared Now?

I’m scared, that’s who. Allow me to explain. Yesterday I woke up early. Not sure why, but I did. There was no alarm, or loud noises, it was one of those moments where my eyes opened, sunlight hit me, and I didn’t feel I could fall back asleep. I was awake.

Since I was awake, I told myself, “make up your bed, it’ll be warm and inviting when you get home.” I made it up, and it looked good, as opposed to the mess I sometimes leave it.  Then I said, “write something, anything, so you’ll have something to work from for the day.” So I wrote something in my notebook. It wasn’t much, just a note that I should learn to make a stronger build for a gaming character. I was disappointed in that note.

Before I left for work, I had a pang of inspiration, that sort of binds a lot of the characters I have for the novel, immediately wrote it down, and laughed because it was funny. Then I went to work. I was busy, and all day I felt intimidated by the revelation I am grateful I wrote down. Why is this epiphany scary? Well, for the first time I feel that after a year I have a cohesive way to tie things together. I keep wondering what all that writing and frustration was for if all it took was one day of waking up early.

One top of that it is clear that as much as I want to believe I was on the right path, I have to work even harder to produce some quality work.  I am intimidated by the quality in the material I seek to produces. This isn’t the angel in the room, but rather a fear of success, I think. This is the right direction, and I will have to take it one word at a time (in no way shape or form am I giving up).

Maybe I needed a cool down moment from when I wrote what I wrote, and how I feel. The idea isn’t going away, is committed to paper, and now needs to be expanded upon, and more written.  I’m worrying over nothing, but that’s me.

Happy creative endeavors.

Not Focused

Today I’m a bit scatterbrained, and that’s not good. I need to get centered and do some creative writing, or find myself having a blah day. Knowing me there’s some procrastination involved in this process, and I have a sudden desire to clean my room, which does need cleaning, BUT that shouldn’t stop me from putting pen to paper.

Yesterday yielded some varying results with me briefly reclaiming a short story, and rewriting a few lines as an exercise in revisions. It wasn’t bad, and I did go on a bit of a tangent with it (was supposed to working on the novel), but I liked the exercise, and reading the words back aloud to see if they fit that short story.  I will have to fill in a lot of gaps with that.

Did write down more thoughts and ideas for the novel, and it occurred to me, that I need to be far better organized. It’s clear that I have set down some rules, major characters, and some important factors that I can file under “lore” or “icons” to this world. This needs to be in a file I can refer back to. This also begs me to redo the outline with the expanded knowledge I do know. Who knew this was going to get more complicated.  It’s kind of like painting, in that you can start it, think you’re finished, but details need to be added.

As always, happy creative endeavors.


Art Imitates Life

Back in the day I, when I was taking writing classes, I got ideas from stories from real life-that is inspiration came directly for experiences I had, saw, or heard about, and did some exploring on the topic to further my curiosity. I filled in some gaps with some imagination, and worked my way from there.  It’s what got the best reactions in class.

As time progressed, I had mixed results with this, and tried to make do. Looking back now, I should retry to mix some real life inspirations/observations withing the material.  This means adding a section to my journal for observations.

That said I wonder how far I can go with observations and inspiration. It’s not to be a reflection of the actual real life experience, but rather I I feel about this stimuli at the moment. Something to think about in the time it takes to make some stories happen and progress. I sense a new exercise coming on.

Happy creative endeavors.

Delayed Dreams

So, between my own procrastination, and the distractions that kept happening, I didn’t do much in the way of writing this weekend. That said, I do believe in getting back in the wagon and writing again. I have to remind myself that I have delayed my dreams of being a novelist, screenwriting, and TV scripts. Sounds bleak, but it’s the mess I’ve made.

What I did do is add some notes, and a few lines to the noel. Not too much progress. I also created a background for a character I have no idea how it will be used at the moment, I did write down some dialog for an idea that I hope to use in a screenplay, but I need to outline it before I go further.

What I did do, and thought over this morning was the TV spec pilot and two subsequent episodes I wrote. I’m at the point where I’ve completely “forgotten” the material, and I need to go back and do real quality revisions to make it look good.–I still hated the final act, and I revised that thing so much–with frustration for not making it better.  I got pissed off, and needed to leave it be.

It’s been a while, and I think now is a perfect time to look and revise it.  I feel I can cut things without feeling like a mad butcher.  By the way, I liked writing the third episode the most, as it felt like I had gotten stronger with the material. The spec pilot and second episode need some mad work though.

That said, I want to look back at it, and see what could be done to make the series better, and how to improve what I wrote.

Happy creative endeavors.

Too Early To Type

I’m gonna prove this title wrong, in spite of allergies popping off and making my eyes burn and water. The meds are taking their sweet time taking effect. It is early, and I don’t want to think, but since I’m up and about, I am gonna think and keep thinking. This means more writing, and l need my eyes open and less painful for this event. Like I said this morning, it’s mind over matter, and I need to put the focus where it’s important.

That said, I did do some print writing, and some more or less non-story writing for work, so I did put in some time.  The non-story writing was work-related, and kept me busy in a good way.  The fiction writing was mainly creating some dialogue, and trying to organize some chapters. Got to chapter seven, but stopped there, as I’m getting ahead of myself, and I need to make sure I have reasonable drafts to correspond with these new chapters.

Now I need a latter. It will get my day popping like I need it too.

Happy creative endeavors.

Wednesday Goodness

Pollen is everywhere, and I’ve been distracted with gaming a bit too much. It’s time for some more writing to get done. I woke up determined to put a few sentences in print, or a file because that’s the life. Of course, I’m being distracted now–non gaming stuff, but that’s also the life.  Let me tell you, despite allergy meds, my eyes are still burning, so I’m catching some hot messes today.

Last thing I wrote was me working on a few lines for the main character to a friend about mistakes he keeps making. I’m glad I jotted them down, but that’s in need of more time and effort before it becomes a concrete scene.  If not, I’ll move onto something else. Did think of possibly naming each chapter.   Just because I want to. Chapter 1 has a name, and like a genius, I don’t have my flash drive with me to work on that chapter.  Fortunately, I know where it is, and haven’t misplaced it.

As always, happy creative endeavors.



I Thought I Knew

As usual, my thought process seems better between half asleep and awake. So I woke up thinking of the motives for my characters and what I’m exploring. Had these ideas where I wanted to figure out why they are doing what they do and how to explore those thoughts.  This lead me back to my novel. Just what the heck is this main character up to?

For the moment I know the character keeps making bad choices, and his choices have good and bad consequences he has to eat. So maybe I should be asking why he keeps making bad choices when he wants to be recognized for his talents. What if the choices suddenly became bigger than who he was, and why.

This puts me in a different position.  The MC was going though life messing around when in fact he could and can do better.  I know those motives all to well.

I thought I knew what the stakes were. I got adjusted.  It happens.

Happy creative endeavors.