A Really Late Post

I am grateful that I have an opportunity to post this message and be creative when I can have a very chaotic life. I am grateful I have a job, and that I can pay some bills, and have the opportunity to play “catch up” with other bills. I am grateful that I love being creative, and will not give up on my dreams, even when I feel ADHD on projects. That leads me to grateful on putting those topics to a notebook, or a file to have them for later reviews.

Will have to put a finer point on this later. I got stuff to do.

Genre Shifts

I looked back at my notes and writing for the novel, and observed that it has a lot dystopian elements. Being southern, the elements/tools of oppression focus on religion, which is interesting. BTW this isn’t a YA novel–I noticed many of those I hear about–or seen the movie version are dystopia-based. One of them seemed downright post-apocalyptic. That said my main character is nineteen. On a side note I thought of making the lead character forty-something, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself, and may save the idea for another story.

This novel started, and still is a bizarro genre-based story.  The novel still contains a lot of its absurd, weird, and surreal elements, as well as fantastical elements set in the modern world. For the sake of brevity–I’d say this novel is a weird urban fantasy. This all leads me to that I’ve traveled this far with the story, and here I am contemplating what it has become. This has thrown me off a little, yet excited me.

I’m excited because there are elements of the story I didn’t recognize at first, but instead of just touching on them, I can address this material. It represents a shift in some of the plot, and some of the actions/characters. I’m happy that I can make this progress, particularly when I’ve been in a fog of finals, and my creativity took a nose dive off a steep cliff. It’ll still be one word at a time, but with a little more nuance and knowledge.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Finals are Upon Me, Whether I Wish It Or Not

OK, for the aforementioned title I copped and revised this line from the Lord of the Rings The Two Towers films. It is apt for this situation.  If you know the scene, then you know Aragorn said it to Theoden. I’m saying the title to myself. There’s not sassy comeback to this.

For those not in the know, I work in an academic setting, so finals is part of the package.  Things seem to have this chaos effect during these times, and that’s always adding to stress for everyone. Now try to address the chaos on the weekend when some departments are closed, and you may, or may not get the on-call person.  It happens.  Also  some people are testy and desperate, and have no problems with giving out the drama.

Ignoring the bad for the moment, it is something I empathize with, as I was once a student. I’ve done my fair share of finals and overnighters.  I try to be understanding, however that really stretched the tolerance after the fifth person being in that mood.

I find I’m less creative when I’m stressed like this, and it takes time to get back in the rhythm of getting my creativity back. I may need some time off to detox from stress.

Happy better creative endeavors.

 

Headache

I didn’t sleep well, and I woke up feeling a touch of a headache I need to address before it becomes a migraine.  With my luck it will turn into a migraine that has me in all sorts of bad ways.

That said I wasn’t very creative, but I need to get on top of that. It always seems that chaos pops up to have a good time when I want to have a breakthrough.  That and I am a hot mess, sometimes, and other times I have clarity.  Damn, it’s hot in this building. I feel extra warm and that annoys meSo I took the pain meds and hopefully I’ll be in shape soon.  Need to make my plans a lot better.  Will discuss that later.

 

Happy creative endeavors.

A Tuesday

Yesterday I wrote a couple of poems from other character’s point of views. One of them I struggled with, and wrote two versions, where I felt this antagonist was complex, and kind of tragic. I think I have sympathy for this character. She gonna be a hot mess, which is good for the story. The third character is a bit of a willful, controlling type.  It was funny that two of the three characters have dialog playing around in my head, and I know already how they feel about the first antagonist. This should prove interesting to write down.

I need to work on the protagonist, and his allies next. Mainly because I want to see who they are, and how they would react to situations the way I know how the villains will act. The hero I know goes through ups and downs, however I want to do a before and after poem to see where he goes.  Allies 1 and two may have some duality as well.

I mostly  know how the antagonists would react to nearly any situation (say you left them a peanut butter sandwich). I know who’d eat it, I know who’d put demands on the quality of the food. and who would be offended.

I’ll get to that.

Happy creative Endeavors.

 

A Monday

Before I sipped this latte, I am feeling a bit hyper. Dunno why that is. Perhaps that’s a good thing. Needless to say it’s writing time. Spent Friday writing some stuff, trying to be cohesive, then spent the weekend goofing off, gaming, and cooking. Made a baked mac & cheese took a lot of time and I used extra cheese (mid and sharp cheddar, mozzarella, and Colby with shredded three blend cheddar on top). Needless to say it tastes good. All that effort was golden.  That said, I tested the limits of my lactose intolerance strongly. Eating a square of it for the day was quite enough for my tummy.

So today I’m checking my story notes, and hope to gets to writing. Had a lot of cool ideas, and put down some activity on the antagonist, who was undefined for a long time. Now that I’m in that guy’s head, I feel a lot dirty. I wrote a poem from his POV that may never see the light of day, but it was done for the purpose of knowing who he is, and what he’s doing.  I am gonna have to work with him, and now that I know he’s an awful (to put it nicely) person.

I worked on a poem about the second antagonist, but it wasn’t from her perspective.  I need to get on that today.  BTW my notebook if filled with poems on the novel, but getting on the perspective of characters will help me out…or not. I will work it out.

Happy creative endeavors.

 

Who’s Scared Now?

I’m scared, that’s who. Allow me to explain. Yesterday I woke up early. Not sure why, but I did. There was no alarm, or loud noises, it was one of those moments where my eyes opened, sunlight hit me, and I didn’t feel I could fall back asleep. I was awake.

Since I was awake, I told myself, “make up your bed, it’ll be warm and inviting when you get home.” I made it up, and it looked good, as opposed to the mess I sometimes leave it.  Then I said, “write something, anything, so you’ll have something to work from for the day.” So I wrote something in my notebook. It wasn’t much, just a note that I should learn to make a stronger build for a gaming character. I was disappointed in that note.

Before I left for work, I had a pang of inspiration, that sort of binds a lot of the characters I have for the novel, immediately wrote it down, and laughed because it was funny. Then I went to work. I was busy, and all day I felt intimidated by the revelation I am grateful I wrote down. Why is this epiphany scary? Well, for the first time I feel that after a year I have a cohesive way to tie things together. I keep wondering what all that writing and frustration was for if all it took was one day of waking up early.

One top of that it is clear that as much as I want to believe I was on the right path, I have to work even harder to produce some quality work.  I am intimidated by the quality in the material I seek to produces. This isn’t the angel in the room, but rather a fear of success, I think. This is the right direction, and I will have to take it one word at a time (in no way shape or form am I giving up).

Maybe I needed a cool down moment from when I wrote what I wrote, and how I feel. The idea isn’t going away, is committed to paper, and now needs to be expanded upon, and more written.  I’m worrying over nothing, but that’s me.

Happy creative endeavors.