One Word At A Time

Y’all, I am very tried, and stressed. My schedule changed for what I thought was for good. It was earlier than usual, but it was consistent, which made all the difference.  Needles to say my sleep pattern, my eating habits have gone to heck…again.  Now there’s talk of making more changes.

My creativity has bounced up and down so much that it has upset me.  I like to keep something going, and I’m not.  I feel like I got mauled by chaos.  That does not mean I gave up, or giving up.

It means I need to get myself back into writing, which is something not only that I love to do, but is a positive force in my life. I can’t lose the one thing that makes my days brighter.

My emotions are all over the place, as I am frustrated, sad, anxious, and nervous about getting creative endeavors done.  It’s like a crisis before the actual work gets done (pre-crisis?). So now that I have a moment, I need to relax, breathe, and put together a realistic plan.

First, I’m blogging. Second, I need a sharper plan to execute creative goals. I intend to complete some projects, and put some on hold. I don’t want to put them on hold, but I know everything can’t and won’t be done. I have to see some tangible results before the end of the year.

Happy creative endeavors.

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“C and Split the Difference”

“C” is for confidant, or “Stay confidant.” It’s my mantra when approaching goals, as my days stay chaotic.  I wish to keep myself moving forward with my dreams and goals, and even small tasks have been tied up, so a pleasant reminder helps.

“Split the Difference”  is me wanting to buy something, and it costs a lot. I tell myself simply cut the amount I want to spend. This is helping my reduce spending, and get on top of bills.

That said, I’m been reduced to a day of blogging, as my hours have changed more, and I’m working six days a week. Needless to say, that has really been tiring. My eating/appetite went deep into chaos. Sleep is a hot mess.

Still, I’m going to press forward, let the negative fall to the wayside, and keep looking at my own goals for personal growth and success. Not giving up on myself.

Happy creative endeavors.

My Life

It finally pinged in my daily activities, and ofer having been taught this writing several times, that I should be writing–or taking notes on my daily happenings.  Sorta like a daily journal. This is mainly because things happen day to day that range from ok to ugh.

The goal is to have my experiences on paper (or file) to look back on as inspiration/starting points for potential stories.  Things do happen, I have reactions for better or worse. It might be good to reflect on these things later on.

I can tell you at the moment I loathe getting up early, but had to.  Failed to pick out clothes last night, went to bed late, and all around KNEW if I didn’t set the clock earlier than usual, I would not get up in a timely manner.  I don’t know if this me getting older, or I got settled into getting up when I wanted to, but I am not a morning person…yet.

I also failed to clean my room yet again.  I need to purge this soon, to better manage my allergies. Too much clutter in a small space.  Must vacuum, throw some stuff away, and put some other things in storage. I will feel better if I do. I know I will.  

Happy creative endeavors.  

Sunday

Today day I feel a little bored, and less desire to write. I, however, told myself that I’m gonna put some things down, and that includes a blog post.  It’s a mix of feeling blah, and a little meh-ish.  Usually it goes away, but today I don’t want to wait for it to depart before I type something.

I did finish my writing for television class, and it took forever, and I wish I completed it sooner. I typed out the last of my notes, and will review them soon. There was a lot of stuff I knew, thought I knew, and study I’m eager to try out.

It does make me want to look back at my previous material and see if it can be revised with the guidelines. I certainly hope to at least take one project and rewrite it to fit the proper format, and change the ending (I hated the ending, and knew it had to go).

Go me. Blog post done when i was feeling like loafing about.  If only all material came this easy.

Happy creative endeavors.

Awkward Family Moments Part 2

They still staring at you like you’re going to produce more food outta your pocket, which they will gladly eat because they want something fresh, not the stale shit that has yet to be cooked, or opened because, why bother with making a meal, right?

So fam is still pissed that I didn’t think of them during my lunch break, buy their meals during that time, go back to work– find a place to store it–that no one will touch it–cause work fam are food thieves–and reclaim it after my shift’s done.

Never mind fam-fam could go and get themselves some food at any time before they see me. More importantly, when they do get food, they make sure I know it’s only just for one person, even when I don’t ask them about it.

There has to be that one fam member so intent on knowing what you had to eat, they rip open your bag, and open the container  to inspect the food for themselves.  And if you walked away, you can best believe a portion was scooped out, regardless of whether you ate off of the meal or not.

By the way, don’t let the meal contain poultry, seafood (shrimp), or beef. Hell, even a salad with the right toppings is in danger of being portioned out.

\Sometimes your meal will be shared with everyone but you, because, “you already had some.”

If I ever hear, “boy, you ate all the bacon off this cobb salad,” ever again it’ll be too soon.

This his how I make a game off this mess. I order the salads with sometimes no toppings. Just iceberg lettuce with olive oil, and salt and pepper.  Eat that, fam.    BBQ wings? I lick the sauce off each piece that goes home.

Yes, it gets a bit freaky in the break room, but that’s between me and HR now. Apparently harassing wings is a thing now, as well as wing sensitivity training.

Awkward Family Moments Part 1

You ever had that awkward moment like I do when when fam sees you bring your lunch home from work? It’s like a set of cats when they hear the bag rustle. Peeps spring to life, arrive in the  kitchen, and look at what and where you set something down, besides the damn keys.  

Then they see that single sad bag with a container of mystery contents.  “Why didn’t you bring home some food for me too?”

Then there’s an even more awkward moment when I respond with, “I’m not Dominoes. I don’t deliver.”  They pause, and hunch their shoulders, like they didn’t know you weren’t a delivery man.

“There is food in the house.” I know this because I brought it.”

 

Damaged II

After the previous post, I looked at each of my characters to see the direction I steered them towards. A lot of my characters stated as an extremely passive. They didn’t act or react to their situations, nor did they reach for a goal, which is bad for story and character progression.

I also previously wrote that it seemed like “damaged” characters (manly from soap operas I used to watch) made things happen in storylines. Those characters with passion seemed to have the freedom to act. When some of these cats got knocked down, they got back on their feet, and tried a different approach.

The above actions are typically what I see with villains in many stories. They could be earnest, aggressive, and assertive. They didn’t simply react, they acted, they had goals, and no one was getting in their way. If you did get in their way, well, you were bound for trouble.

Heroes should be this way as well, and this may have been a blinding factor for me.

In soaps, many heroes (not all) can be passive, unsuspecting, and clueless to the world around them. The hero defined the genre of melodrama, which is, bad things happen to good people. To me, a soap opera hero didn’t have to do much in the story other than be the constant victim of a damaged character.

It’s only when the hero’s caught onto what was going on in the world around them, was he or she able to react, but it’s always at a late, late moment. By then the villain has made attempts to get their goals, got thwarted, and took a different routes to get what they want. The villain has had far more time to for character development and growth. The villain pushes the narrative with great urgency and strength.

Some villains typically do what the hero should be doing in a given story, which is make things happen.  It also suggests to me that the narrative theory is that those only who have desire act in a devious manner.  If you are bubbled and pure you will persevere though simply being good.  Total rubbish.

I believe characters must be active in their own story or they will be supplanted by another more engaging characters.  This may also explain the appeal of villains as secret MCs in storylines.  Think of how flat some storylines are when the hero and/or villains are cardboard. It’s what I’m doing right now.

As always, happy creative endeavors.