Triggered…Sorta

It’s been a hectic week since my last post.  Had a fam emergency that demanded my time and attention. It wasn’t pretty, but that fam member is getting better.  Needless to say this crisis left me a little drained.

I’ve still been writing, and have been doing some dialogue driven scenes that I need to work on more since I added a forth character who is bringing her brand of conflict to the story.  I don’t “hear” her voice as clear as the other characters, so I’m annoyed that hasn’t happened yet, so in due time.

The novel, which has me triggered (sorta), because yesterday I wrote a scene  in which was not terrible, but dealt with abuse, and it made me feel bad, however it was very necessary because at one point the main character has to make a choice about who is good, and how inhumane people have been to him.  The scene pinched me for a few reasons; Abuse is difficult to discuss, let alone write or read. The abusers are so dehumanizing, I found myself upset.

That said, I do feel bad things do happen to good people, and the terrible circumstances are beyond the control of ourselves. Also to experience such a dehumanizing low, and to rise above it, makes me feel a lot better knowing the character has dignity and personal strength.  I have a lot to work on in this story.  This is just one of them.

After leaving that scene alone for a long while, I thought the novel wasn’t weird enough for a bizarro story, and suddenly there was this giant rooster used to travel to the moon.  So abuse, dehumanizing, overcoming obstacles, and a moon-hopping chicken.  BTW the abuse isn’t in every scene, but for the protagonist, it’s something he can’t forget or dismiss, but I’d like to think-at least at this point-that he will overcome the negativity and not become a monster because if it.

 

PS On My Novel Writing

Hello All,

I am still working on the novel. I wanted to do a brief update, so as to not lose track of my progress. Yesterday, on my way to lunch, I had this idea for the MC’s background. Not radical makeover of an idea, but rather filling out who he is, and what he does.

I quickly pulled out my phone and added it to a doc app.  This new phone has a weird auto-correct, so I had to take my time and write out a few lines.  Pulled the doc out later, and elaborated on this. About to do some more work on this aspect.

It makes sense to me, this direction, and I’m glad for the random bit of inspiration while zoning out and thinking only of food. I was hungry, and on a budget. LOL

Still obsessed with Smite item building, though.  LOL Maximize potential.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Friday

Woke up feeling like this Friday is a hot mess of waking up early (after going to bed late) and feeling like I’m not gonna be good this week. Never mind that I forgot to purchase some allergy meds when I had the chance, or that I have’t used the Netti pot to clear out my sinuses for the last two days. I am now known as the house of mucus. Gross. But funny, cause I know better.

That said I’m hearing voices. Character voices, and I’m like, talk to me.  Main character for the novel has a voice that I like, and will keep.  The villain has his voice down as well. Next, the MC’s ally has her voice, and a secondary character has her voice as well.  I missing several voices, however, before I know it, I’ll hear them too.  BTW this is the only acceptable time you’ll ever hear me condoning hearing voices.  If’s it’s not for a story, then I’d back away from the person, or their blog.  I jest cause I love peeps, and humor makes me feel good.

Today has been one of those days where I’m gonna go home, and I am positive I am going to lay down, but inside I know that’s a lie. I’m gonna play video games, cause a man my age should be out dating, and having drama that he’ll put in his stories that he’ll be sued for in the future by a bitter ex.  And she will be bitter cause I’m gaming, not dating, and didn’t watch the Lifetime made for TV movie with her.  I also binge watched the shows without her.  I’m a terrible fake boyfriend. To be fair she fake cheated on me with a cooler nerd, so gaming is my safe space.

That said it is Friday, I need to drink more water, and I think I have the library pretty much to myself now. Which means it will be a bigger safe space, cause libraries are wonder resources that are for the people.  No gaming though, which is a bummer, but what can I say. Time and place for everything. You wouldn”t take a shower in the rain on a city street, would you? I mean the rain water’s usually icy cold, and looks dirty.  It’ll like washing off in mud.  Time and place for your outer freakishness.

Happy creative endeavors.

 

A Routine or Rotation

I’ve got to get myself into a writing rotation. At least one more frequent than I’m ding now.  I may have to wake up early and put down a few lines. That means getting organized, getting to bed earlier, and doing what I have to do to maximize my creative time.

Did manage to get some writing done yesterday, but it was far more random than i think it should have been. Didn’t do any reading, when I spent the day before reading American Gods. I want to read it since there’s a TV adaption on Starz right now, and I kinda want to be ahead of the curve.

So, just like with games when you have to use your abilities in a rotation, that’s how I want to do my writing. I sorta had this fear that writing would become a chore, and I would resent it, but I’ve been writing since childhood, so why should that stop now?  It’s been a chore, but one I love doing.

Also need to add more TV shows and movies into my rotation. I say this because as former professors once said, if you want to write well, you should be watching more TV shows and movies, in addition to reading.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Creativity

Realized I’m my happiest when I’m being creative.  This means I need more creativity in my days to make them richer and better. Perhaps I can create a project list for myself and manage how they are getting done. At least I’ll have things aligned to a particular way for my benefit.

That said, I did some writing in my notebook for the novel yesterday. It’s rough as all get out, and not even in a first draft of a chapter mode. Just me writing, and getting it from head to my notebook, and eventually my laptop/Word file.

Happy creative endeavors.

Outlined

My blog updates have been slow to arrive, however I am writing as usual. After a lot of notes, some research, and redefining aspects of the world for the novel, I began a new outline.

The start has been a bit of a challenge as I wanted to jot everything down, and ended up with a ridiculously long act one. It felt good to type out hat I anted to happen (after putting a lot of it down in pen). So I started to condense the outline.

This is a process, so I hope to work more towards making it to a solid draft I can say is correct with the only corrections being typos.

The weekend is coming. It should be a creative time.

Happy creative endeavors.

A Really Late Post

I am grateful that I have an opportunity to post this message and be creative when I can have a very chaotic life. I am grateful I have a job, and that I can pay some bills, and have the opportunity to play “catch up” with other bills. I am grateful that I love being creative, and will not give up on my dreams, even when I feel ADHD on projects. That leads me to grateful on putting those topics to a notebook, or a file to have them for later reviews.

Will have to put a finer point on this later. I got stuff to do.