Friday

Woke up feeling like this Friday is a hot mess of waking up early (after going to bed late) and feeling like I’m not gonna be good this week. Never mind that I forgot to purchase some allergy meds when I had the chance, or that I have’t used the Netti pot to clear out my sinuses for the last two days. I am now known as the house of mucus. Gross. But funny, cause I know better.

That said I’m hearing voices. Character voices, and I’m like, talk to me.  Main character for the novel has a voice that I like, and will keep.  The villain has his voice down as well. Next, the MC’s ally has her voice, and a secondary character has her voice as well.  I missing several voices, however, before I know it, I’ll hear them too.  BTW this is the only acceptable time you’ll ever hear me condoning hearing voices.  If’s it’s not for a story, then I’d back away from the person, or their blog.  I jest cause I love peeps, and humor makes me feel good.

Today has been one of those days where I’m gonna go home, and I am positive I am going to lay down, but inside I know that’s a lie. I’m gonna play video games, cause a man my age should be out dating, and having drama that he’ll put in his stories that he’ll be sued for in the future by a bitter ex.  And she will be bitter cause I’m gaming, not dating, and didn’t watch the Lifetime made for TV movie with her.  I also binge watched the shows without her.  I’m a terrible fake boyfriend. To be fair she fake cheated on me with a cooler nerd, so gaming is my safe space.

That said it is Friday, I need to drink more water, and I think I have the library pretty much to myself now. Which means it will be a bigger safe space, cause libraries are wonder resources that are for the people.  No gaming though, which is a bummer, but what can I say. Time and place for everything. You wouldn”t take a shower in the rain on a city street, would you? I mean the rain water’s usually icy cold, and looks dirty.  It’ll like washing off in mud.  Time and place for your outer freakishness.

Happy creative endeavors.

 

Fountain of Creativity

The migraine must have heralded a fount of creativity, as I found myself writing a lot more in my notebook.  Some of it was for the novel, and some were ideas that were chilling in my head.

I then typed them when I had the chance, just to give the concepts more of a visual presence outside of my notebook, and a little more organized.  I need to keep working on them.

The ideas have a sort of cohesive, related theme, which is probably why they seems so clear to me yesterday.   One of my teachers once said, we write the same story over and over. Don’t know how true that is, but I do visit a lot of the same themes.

Some older ideas popped up as well, which meant they needed to be written down.  Once story I had so many questions, I typed them out, and hope to answer those quuestions soon.

The novel keeps taking these turns. Wrote down a possible rewrite by hand, and after thinking on it overnight, I realized I missed something, and will add that to the story soon.  Need to go back to the outline and add this as well.

Some of the dialogue I wrote out needs revisions, as I’ve thought of some new lines, and others I need to scrap.  It will work itself out.  I am happiest when I’m creative. so I love those aspects.  Gotta keep being creative.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Simply Complicated

Yesterday a friend suggested–to solve my woes with the main character, that I ask myself, “what does this character really want, and then let him know he will NEVER have what he wants. His reaction to this is what will determine his character.”

That sounded so simple, until I tried to answer the question. Then my brain hurted (yes, I am fully aware that “hurted” is not a word–thought it was funny).

At first I went with his occupation, and knew he was having drama with his career as a painter,  and wanted to be taken seriously as an artist, but that wasn’t it.

The main character struggles with his desire intimacy: He wants to be in love, feel wanted, and be touched, however there’s a vicious social taboo on him.

So knowing he’s longing for something out of reach, I’ve placed him in an open spotlight where he’s the center of attention and controversy. This cause some people to panic, and have some spiteful, petty, and bigoted reactions.

So he wants intimacy, but needs to be respected as well.

His reaction to these events I haven’t fully figured out yet. I don’t want him to run and hide. He needs to stand firm, even though he’s risking harm cause people go out of their way to be petty and evil under the cloak of righteousness.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Fear

So as I keep working on the novel and progressing, I get this fear going on. A fear that I haven’t developed the main character enough. I’ve done so much world and character building, I hadn’t stopped until now to examine the character.

Also I feel like I’m trying to avoid the issue with him. I’m rather frustrated with myself. I put in my notes that I needed to be more blunt and honest in the writing, otherwise it will look like I’m dancing around the characters and situations without really dealing with them.

Maybe this is anxiety, or me reminding myself to stay on point. Whatever it is, I feel like I need to manage it, and get underway.  Part of what I looked at is whether or not the character is noble (or has a noble sentimentality), or is more of a rogue.

Part of me likes the idea of someone who has faced adversity and willing to fight more in a righteous way. I also love that a person can be lovable and not always willing to do the right thing, and make a hell of a lot of mistakes.

Heroes do know sacrifice, which is inherent in their life and noble.  I dunno. I’m indecisive at the moment.  Maybe it needs to marinate overnight now that I’ve dragged the fear to light and faced it.  No blinking. Gotta get this done.

Happy creative endeavors.

A Really Late Post

I am grateful that I have an opportunity to post this message and be creative when I can have a very chaotic life. I am grateful I have a job, and that I can pay some bills, and have the opportunity to play “catch up” with other bills. I am grateful that I love being creative, and will not give up on my dreams, even when I feel ADHD on projects. That leads me to grateful on putting those topics to a notebook, or a file to have them for later reviews.

Will have to put a finer point on this later. I got stuff to do.

Finals are Upon Me, Whether I Wish It Or Not

OK, for the aforementioned title I copped and revised this line from the Lord of the Rings The Two Towers films. It is apt for this situation.  If you know the scene, then you know Aragorn said it to Theoden. I’m saying the title to myself. There’s not sassy comeback to this.

For those not in the know, I work in an academic setting, so finals is part of the package.  Things seem to have this chaos effect during these times, and that’s always adding to stress for everyone. Now try to address the chaos on the weekend when some departments are closed, and you may, or may not get the on-call person.  It happens.  Also  some people are testy and desperate, and have no problems with giving out the drama.

Ignoring the bad for the moment, it is something I empathize with, as I was once a student. I’ve done my fair share of finals and overnighters.  I try to be understanding, however that really stretched the tolerance after the fifth person being in that mood.

I find I’m less creative when I’m stressed like this, and it takes time to get back in the rhythm of getting my creativity back. I may need some time off to detox from stress.

Happy better creative endeavors.

 

Headache

I didn’t sleep well, and I woke up feeling a touch of a headache I need to address before it becomes a migraine.  With my luck it will turn into a migraine that has me in all sorts of bad ways.

That said I wasn’t very creative, but I need to get on top of that. It always seems that chaos pops up to have a good time when I want to have a breakthrough.  That and I am a hot mess, sometimes, and other times I have clarity.  Damn, it’s hot in this building. I feel extra warm and that annoys meSo I took the pain meds and hopefully I’ll be in shape soon.  Need to make my plans a lot better.  Will discuss that later.

 

Happy creative endeavors.