A Really Late Post

I am grateful that I have an opportunity to post this message and be creative when I can have a very chaotic life. I am grateful I have a job, and that I can pay some bills, and have the opportunity to play “catch up” with other bills. I am grateful that I love being creative, and will not give up on my dreams, even when I feel ADHD on projects. That leads me to grateful on putting those topics to a notebook, or a file to have them for later reviews.

Will have to put a finer point on this later. I got stuff to do.

Sluggish

Well finals are over. This is a rare moment as I took no final, yet felt the pain of having to worth through them.  It’s like the experience of taking them intensified, minus the nervous energy, however the demand/need to help patrons still is there, and I was running off of little to minimal sleep, tight schedule, and one day off for the past two weeks. Last Friday, I was thinking I was going to be in a big jam, but I feel good now.

Some balance has been restored, however, some balances need to even out.  I don’t think my sleep pattern has mellowed out to what it needs to be. Until I feel like I’m at 100% I think my creativity is gonna lag some.  Last week I was forgetting names, and lost my appetite. This weekend I ate, remembered stuff, and tried to relax, and goof off.

What has me nervous, and somewhat out of sorts, is back to my novel writing, which is a work in progress. It still has its dystopian elements. It’s still a bizarro genre tale, and I’ve been trying to figure out what influences this story more. It’s its own bird.  LOL New species alert!

This morning I asked myself “what does my MC like/want/love.” This was more in regards to a person as opposed to a goal. I asked this because I wondered how I would explore personal and/or intimate relationships. It sounds simple and somewhat of an afterthought, but while I have a good scenario, I wondered more about who is around him and why, and how he reacts to to them.

That said another character (who is in the original plot) became a lot more clearer to me.  She doesn’t have a direct relationship to the hero (as of now), but I can see her role expanding so I can “see” her more predominately rather than as a simple lampshade in the room. I have to go write that down.

Mockingbird

Part of me loves humor and poking fun at a vast majority of subjects. I try to keep it light and silly, but it often is viewed through other people’s perspective. That said, I try to be goofy in my writing, and sometimes a joke, or a sense of humor can pinch some readers the wrong way. Boy do they leap, or pee on themselves. Others just cry. The cool ones walk it off and go cry in their car, or something where we can’t see. I saw it though.  Ugly cries are the best-cause you let that shit go!

My intent of humor doesn’t always shine through the way I think it will, but it doesn’t have to shine for everyone, does it?

Writing, like any craft can poke fun at everything, and not everyone will find something funny about it. Who knows why it pinches so hard, unless someone tells me why. Then again, does that mean I should stop writing on that particular subject? Does that make it censorship? For the record no one has told me to stop writing on something. I’ve read enough stories and think pieces to see that some material doesn’t jive with everyone, and I see that as a good thing. After all can a story(ies) be universally loved?

That said if you do something stupid or ridiculous in front of me, or I hear about it, that goes in my data bank of mischief to capitalize upon. Let’s face it, I like things that can be silly, and exploring them. I also like trying to improve stories. That and I know how good it feels to be petty in my fiction writing. Don’t take me serious all the time.

I will say this. The part of me that likes to be silly likes to be seen, and doesn’t care if people disapprove.  It needs balance with a tempered, intelligent thinker who appreciates that not everyone wants or desires to see me. I’m a still do me though.

Happy creative endeavors.

A Monday

Before I sipped this latte, I am feeling a bit hyper. Dunno why that is. Perhaps that’s a good thing. Needless to say it’s writing time. Spent Friday writing some stuff, trying to be cohesive, then spent the weekend goofing off, gaming, and cooking. Made a baked mac & cheese took a lot of time and I used extra cheese (mid and sharp cheddar, mozzarella, and Colby with shredded three blend cheddar on top). Needless to say it tastes good. All that effort was golden.  That said, I tested the limits of my lactose intolerance strongly. Eating a square of it for the day was quite enough for my tummy.

So today I’m checking my story notes, and hope to gets to writing. Had a lot of cool ideas, and put down some activity on the antagonist, who was undefined for a long time. Now that I’m in that guy’s head, I feel a lot dirty. I wrote a poem from his POV that may never see the light of day, but it was done for the purpose of knowing who he is, and what he’s doing.  I am gonna have to work with him, and now that I know he’s an awful (to put it nicely) person.

I worked on a poem about the second antagonist, but it wasn’t from her perspective.  I need to get on that today.  BTW my notebook if filled with poems on the novel, but getting on the perspective of characters will help me out…or not. I will work it out.

Happy creative endeavors.

 

Who’s Scared Now?

I’m scared, that’s who. Allow me to explain. Yesterday I woke up early. Not sure why, but I did. There was no alarm, or loud noises, it was one of those moments where my eyes opened, sunlight hit me, and I didn’t feel I could fall back asleep. I was awake.

Since I was awake, I told myself, “make up your bed, it’ll be warm and inviting when you get home.” I made it up, and it looked good, as opposed to the mess I sometimes leave it.  Then I said, “write something, anything, so you’ll have something to work from for the day.” So I wrote something in my notebook. It wasn’t much, just a note that I should learn to make a stronger build for a gaming character. I was disappointed in that note.

Before I left for work, I had a pang of inspiration, that sort of binds a lot of the characters I have for the novel, immediately wrote it down, and laughed because it was funny. Then I went to work. I was busy, and all day I felt intimidated by the revelation I am grateful I wrote down. Why is this epiphany scary? Well, for the first time I feel that after a year I have a cohesive way to tie things together. I keep wondering what all that writing and frustration was for if all it took was one day of waking up early.

One top of that it is clear that as much as I want to believe I was on the right path, I have to work even harder to produce some quality work.  I am intimidated by the quality in the material I seek to produces. This isn’t the angel in the room, but rather a fear of success, I think. This is the right direction, and I will have to take it one word at a time (in no way shape or form am I giving up).

Maybe I needed a cool down moment from when I wrote what I wrote, and how I feel. The idea isn’t going away, is committed to paper, and now needs to be expanded upon, and more written.  I’m worrying over nothing, but that’s me.

Happy creative endeavors.

Weekend Warrior!!!

I’m hopped up on latte, so please forgive the apostrophes. It’s very early for me, and I need to be a little hyped, or I may fall asleep while thinking. That said, last Friday I was adding notes to my novel, when I put down the word, “what happens if this story takes place in outer space,” which was a pro and a con. A pro is that this would be another layer to this story. The bad thing is, the layer would make this story a bit more complicated, and I haven’t sorted through my other thoughts.

That said, once things get sorted, then maybe addressing this layer might be plausible. A friend suggested that I save these notes fora separate story, which makes sense. I’m thinking spin-off of some sort. It’s too early to tell. There also needs to be a list of all the major characters on one page. Why? It will have all the major players on one page that can be referred to as needed.

I was thinking more on some stories I wrote concepts down for, and to no surprise, I added to this list yesterday. Then I giggled because it got funnier the more  I thought of them, and I remind myself to work on them a little later, but I have a feeling about these ones.  It might lead somewhere.

Now, back to note taking, and eventual more novel writing.  Let me get that list out of the way, then move on.

Happy creative endeavors. Get it done.  🙂

Know Better, Do Better

It’s hard for me to push myself when I know I want to goof off, or do something less stressful (like organize my constantly messy room). However, the more I write via blog, writing exercises, and generally writing my thoughts down/typing them into a file, helps me think better, and process stuff.

Case in point, I wrote down a lot of notes not only for the novel, but other writing projects I want completed in 2017. This meant, last night, as I pondered the age of my MC for the novel, I’d have a different mindset (think late teens vs forty-something). Needless to say in my notes, a couple of my concepts paralleled. The thought occurred to me that one should be about a late teen (novel), and the latest pitch be about the forty-somethings. That way I can explore variations on a theme w/out changing too much in the novel.

That said, I jotted stuff down, and more notes I need to act upon. One word at a time, and keep moving forward.

I also need to get my reading on, and earlier today I realized I failed to charge my Kindle. Not my best planning ahead moment, but it’s charging now.

Happy creative endeavors.