Who’s Scared Now?

I’m scared, that’s who. Allow me to explain. Yesterday I woke up early. Not sure why, but I did. There was no alarm, or loud noises, it was one of those moments where my eyes opened, sunlight hit me, and I didn’t feel I could fall back asleep. I was awake.

Since I was awake, I told myself, “make up your bed, it’ll be warm and inviting when you get home.” I made it up, and it looked good, as opposed to the mess I sometimes leave it.  Then I said, “write something, anything, so you’ll have something to work from for the day.” So I wrote something in my notebook. It wasn’t much, just a note that I should learn to make a stronger build for a gaming character. I was disappointed in that note.

Before I left for work, I had a pang of inspiration, that sort of binds a lot of the characters I have for the novel, immediately wrote it down, and laughed because it was funny. Then I went to work. I was busy, and all day I felt intimidated by the revelation I am grateful I wrote down. Why is this epiphany scary? Well, for the first time I feel that after a year I have a cohesive way to tie things together. I keep wondering what all that writing and frustration was for if all it took was one day of waking up early.

One top of that it is clear that as much as I want to believe I was on the right path, I have to work even harder to produce some quality work.  I am intimidated by the quality in the material I seek to produces. This isn’t the angel in the room, but rather a fear of success, I think. This is the right direction, and I will have to take it one word at a time (in no way shape or form am I giving up).

Maybe I needed a cool down moment from when I wrote what I wrote, and how I feel. The idea isn’t going away, is committed to paper, and now needs to be expanded upon, and more written.  I’m worrying over nothing, but that’s me.

Happy creative endeavors.

Saturdazed

It’s Saturday, and I’ve been slow to get started. Wanted to rest longer, and stated so, but awakened by a happy family who really didn’t understand I didn’t want to be disturbed. I miss having an apartment, and calling the shots on when I’m going to get up. Change is life, though.

Have to use cheap allergy meds this week, and they are less effective, and make me sleepy as all get out. That really does make being awake an annoyance, when it should be the asset. I will have to tough it out. I like the relief it offers, but OMG, it taxes my system. Boo to that mess.

Writing exercises fell low the entire week, which coincided with the change in my shift, and me refusing to go to bed early. I was a little too stubborn for my own good, and something fell off. The writing quality took the hit. That has to change.

Now that I have some time to reflect on what I didn’t do, and how the minimum became the norm, I’m ready to get back on the horse to my regular routine of writing, and trying to get myself into creative shape.

Happy creative endeavors.

Get Write

The iron’s in the fire, and I gotta work the forge. Sweat running down my forehead and back. My eyes stinging on the saltiness of the sweat. I can only wipe my brow so many times. The smell of molten metal is in the air, and images of cooler place dance about and teas my thoughts. I pick up the tools, and star away at shaping this iron to tell the stories brimming to the surface to be told.

So writing has stalled again, however, a brother keeps trying because he does that what he does. Is not in the mood to hear excuses about it either. Did do some writing, it was random ideas, and the plot for a new story that I need to work on more. The novel needs its legs back. so I gotta get more done for that as well.

Now I go make things happen.

Happy creative endeavors.

Lovely Eye Allergies

Despite taking my meds, my room is a trap for allergies if I don’t have my fan oscillating. Needless to say, I was cold, and thought just having the air on would suffice. Surprise, surprise, I woke up with burning eyes in spite of taking my meds the day before. Now I gotta deal with this mess, and it’s annoying as all get out. I keep squinting, and one eye keeps tearing.  Someone asked me about eye drops, but I swore off drops after a dreadful experience with them.

Looking back at my notes I can see I wrote out some details from some new characters and a concept I haven’t implemented. No need to, but I’m glad I put it down. What I do have is a lot of gaming notes, which seems to fill my journal pages.  Now I need to write a few lines for the novel, and make this day OK.

Happy creative endeavors.

A Tuesday, or Get on Top of Things

Sinus drainage is a real thing, and my nose has been leaking for the better part of yesterday, and partly today.  Needless to say, I stayed around tissue paper, and kept blowing my nose.  It felt like a hot mess.  This reminds me now to take my allergy & sinus meds.  So, pause, take meds, sip water, and be merry. I will have to wait out the annoyances, and happy that the meds have an effect.

Writing also went dry. I am very distracted, and procrastination doesn’t help.  Never mind that this is the start of the 24 hr period for the library, and it’s getting busy. I do feel being pulled in multiple directions. Gotta take some time out to do what I love, or watch it fall by the wayside.  Can’t have that.

Maybe I need a latte, to get my spirts up. Hadn’t had one in a good while.  They perk me up.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

The Long Lag

Sundays can be sobering, but not because of drinking–I didn’t. Its simply a moment to relax and access the past few days without having to rush from one moment to the next. The busiest I have been is I made coffee, and put clothes in the washing machine, and I can’t be upset about that.  The clothes needed to get done. Today was the perfect day to get ’em washed. This is a day to reflect on what’s going on with me. So Sunday’s a great me day.

Part of what I’ve been doing is looking at how long it takes to compete my projects. The novel is a slight exception to the rule, as I never did this before. I notice my focus ebbs and flows from time to time, and I can’t tell you how center-productive that feels to try to make things happen, then stall out.

So I hope today to relax, and hopefully renew my attempts progress to success. Life’s too short to lag all the darn time.

Happy creative endeavors.

The Dance of Today

Very discombobulated, and did nothing creative as far as writing went. It was a sad, bust of a day.  So, I had a writing fail, and a fail but good. This doesn’t mean I give up. It’s a rough patch of distractions, and one thing I want to do is set up reminders to get back on the horse and write again. For one thing, I can’t claim that gaming got me. I didn’t game at all. By time I got home, ate dinner, and relaxed, it was time to sleep. So I felt pressed.  It’s time to put that routine back into motion.

Well now that I have some inkling to get in gear, I best put it to use.  This place is popping today, and I barely have time to put things in motion, but I shall. so free time means put five sentences down today. The goal is to see a full page done today. If not, I’m gonna have to reevaluate how and why I’m neglecting my progress so strongly. So something is definitely going on that’s got me everywhere but excited over my usual creative goodness.

Happy creative endeavors.