A Really Late Post

I am grateful that I have an opportunity to post this message and be creative when I can have a very chaotic life. I am grateful I have a job, and that I can pay some bills, and have the opportunity to play “catch up” with other bills. I am grateful that I love being creative, and will not give up on my dreams, even when I feel ADHD on projects. That leads me to grateful on putting those topics to a notebook, or a file to have them for later reviews.

Will have to put a finer point on this later. I got stuff to do.

Sluggish

Well finals are over. This is a rare moment as I took no final, yet felt the pain of having to worth through them.  It’s like the experience of taking them intensified, minus the nervous energy, however the demand/need to help patrons still is there, and I was running off of little to minimal sleep, tight schedule, and one day off for the past two weeks. Last Friday, I was thinking I was going to be in a big jam, but I feel good now.

Some balance has been restored, however, some balances need to even out.  I don’t think my sleep pattern has mellowed out to what it needs to be. Until I feel like I’m at 100% I think my creativity is gonna lag some.  Last week I was forgetting names, and lost my appetite. This weekend I ate, remembered stuff, and tried to relax, and goof off.

What has me nervous, and somewhat out of sorts, is back to my novel writing, which is a work in progress. It still has its dystopian elements. It’s still a bizarro genre tale, and I’ve been trying to figure out what influences this story more. It’s its own bird.  LOL New species alert!

This morning I asked myself “what does my MC like/want/love.” This was more in regards to a person as opposed to a goal. I asked this because I wondered how I would explore personal and/or intimate relationships. It sounds simple and somewhat of an afterthought, but while I have a good scenario, I wondered more about who is around him and why, and how he reacts to to them.

That said another character (who is in the original plot) became a lot more clearer to me.  She doesn’t have a direct relationship to the hero (as of now), but I can see her role expanding so I can “see” her more predominately rather than as a simple lampshade in the room. I have to go write that down.

Genre Shifts

I looked back at my notes and writing for the novel, and observed that it has a lot dystopian elements. Being southern, the elements/tools of oppression focus on religion, which is interesting. BTW this isn’t a YA novel–I noticed many of those I hear about–or seen the movie version are dystopia-based. One of them seemed downright post-apocalyptic. That said my main character is nineteen. On a side note I thought of making the lead character forty-something, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself, and may save the idea for another story.

This novel started, and still is a bizarro genre-based story.  The novel still contains a lot of its absurd, weird, and surreal elements, as well as fantastical elements set in the modern world. For the sake of brevity–I’d say this novel is a weird urban fantasy. This all leads me to that I’ve traveled this far with the story, and here I am contemplating what it has become. This has thrown me off a little, yet excited me.

I’m excited because there are elements of the story I didn’t recognize at first, but instead of just touching on them, I can address this material. It represents a shift in some of the plot, and some of the actions/characters. I’m happy that I can make this progress, particularly when I’ve been in a fog of finals, and my creativity took a nose dive off a steep cliff. It’ll still be one word at a time, but with a little more nuance and knowledge.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Work With Me

So my system is a hot mess in the sense that I am overstimulated with finals and I feel a bit overwhelmed. I’m not in class, but as someone who has to assist others with their needs during this time, it has taken its tool. I am exhausted, and my creativity is taking a nasty dive.

Now that is out of the way, I’ll just have to keep trying and work towards something.  That hot mess feeling, however taxes me, and all I can do is endure, get some rest, and behave in a professional (yet slightly goofy) manner. This latte really isn’t helping me, however it will insure I stay at least buzzed enough to get stuff done.

Other than this, I feel all things are manageable, and I need to see this not as an obstacle, but a positive challenge. After all I am helping people, and maybe making their day a little easier than it was.

Happy creative endeavors.

Finals are Upon Me, Whether I Wish It Or Not

OK, for the aforementioned title I copped and revised this line from the Lord of the Rings The Two Towers films. It is apt for this situation.  If you know the scene, then you know Aragorn said it to Theoden. I’m saying the title to myself. There’s not sassy comeback to this.

For those not in the know, I work in an academic setting, so finals is part of the package.  Things seem to have this chaos effect during these times, and that’s always adding to stress for everyone. Now try to address the chaos on the weekend when some departments are closed, and you may, or may not get the on-call person.  It happens.  Also  some people are testy and desperate, and have no problems with giving out the drama.

Ignoring the bad for the moment, it is something I empathize with, as I was once a student. I’ve done my fair share of finals and overnighters.  I try to be understanding, however that really stretched the tolerance after the fifth person being in that mood.

I find I’m less creative when I’m stressed like this, and it takes time to get back in the rhythm of getting my creativity back. I may need some time off to detox from stress.

Happy better creative endeavors.

 

Mockingbird

Part of me loves humor and poking fun at a vast majority of subjects. I try to keep it light and silly, but it often is viewed through other people’s perspective. That said, I try to be goofy in my writing, and sometimes a joke, or a sense of humor can pinch some readers the wrong way. Boy do they leap, or pee on themselves. Others just cry. The cool ones walk it off and go cry in their car, or something where we can’t see. I saw it though.  Ugly cries are the best-cause you let that shit go!

My intent of humor doesn’t always shine through the way I think it will, but it doesn’t have to shine for everyone, does it?

Writing, like any craft can poke fun at everything, and not everyone will find something funny about it. Who knows why it pinches so hard, unless someone tells me why. Then again, does that mean I should stop writing on that particular subject? Does that make it censorship? For the record no one has told me to stop writing on something. I’ve read enough stories and think pieces to see that some material doesn’t jive with everyone, and I see that as a good thing. After all can a story(ies) be universally loved?

That said if you do something stupid or ridiculous in front of me, or I hear about it, that goes in my data bank of mischief to capitalize upon. Let’s face it, I like things that can be silly, and exploring them. I also like trying to improve stories. That and I know how good it feels to be petty in my fiction writing. Don’t take me serious all the time.

I will say this. The part of me that likes to be silly likes to be seen, and doesn’t care if people disapprove.  It needs balance with a tempered, intelligent thinker who appreciates that not everyone wants or desires to see me. I’m a still do me though.

Happy creative endeavors.

Headache

I didn’t sleep well, and I woke up feeling a touch of a headache I need to address before it becomes a migraine.  With my luck it will turn into a migraine that has me in all sorts of bad ways.

That said I wasn’t very creative, but I need to get on top of that. It always seems that chaos pops up to have a good time when I want to have a breakthrough.  That and I am a hot mess, sometimes, and other times I have clarity.  Damn, it’s hot in this building. I feel extra warm and that annoys meSo I took the pain meds and hopefully I’ll be in shape soon.  Need to make my plans a lot better.  Will discuss that later.

 

Happy creative endeavors.