Triggered…Sorta

It’s been a hectic week since my last post.  Had a fam emergency that demanded my time and attention. It wasn’t pretty, but that fam member is getting better.  Needless to say this crisis left me a little drained.

I’ve still been writing, and have been doing some dialogue driven scenes that I need to work on more since I added a forth character who is bringing her brand of conflict to the story.  I don’t “hear” her voice as clear as the other characters, so I’m annoyed that hasn’t happened yet, so in due time.

The novel, which has me triggered (sorta), because yesterday I wrote a scene  in which was not terrible, but dealt with abuse, and it made me feel bad, however it was very necessary because at one point the main character has to make a choice about who is good, and how inhumane people have been to him.  The scene pinched me for a few reasons; Abuse is difficult to discuss, let alone write or read. The abusers are so dehumanizing, I found myself upset.

That said, I do feel bad things do happen to good people, and the terrible circumstances are beyond the control of ourselves. Also to experience such a dehumanizing low, and to rise above it, makes me feel a lot better knowing the character has dignity and personal strength.  I have a lot to work on in this story.  This is just one of them.

After leaving that scene alone for a long while, I thought the novel wasn’t weird enough for a bizarro story, and suddenly there was this giant rooster used to travel to the moon.  So abuse, dehumanizing, overcoming obstacles, and a moon-hopping chicken.  BTW the abuse isn’t in every scene, but for the protagonist, it’s something he can’t forget or dismiss, but I’d like to think-at least at this point-that he will overcome the negativity and not become a monster because if it.

 

A Thursday Worth Having is A Good One

So, my tablet is dying, and my laptop is kinda wonky which may mean it’s on its last leg.  Not too happy about that, and I don’t know what to say about my tablet at the moment other than I’m frustrated.

Spent a lot of time randomly writing, and trying NOT to think too hard on the direction, but to let it fall into place.  This meant I am simply not too worried about too much, or when it crosses my mind that I fill in that blank as I go along. Why am I doing this? I found my myself congested with thoughts on previous material where I kept choking on getting it done because too much work went into planning, and not enough on executing.

So I’m happier, and I keep wanting to know, what happens next, so I keep writing.  So far, so good.  All I can say is it involves family, and I keep wondering how they are going to resolve their issues, or perhaps they won’t.  The story took another turn on the way home (I wasn’t driving), so I tried to type it out, but this phone is horrible as far as typing, and the auto-correct doesn’t want to be my friend in this endeavor.

That said, I need to correct the crappy car writing I did so it looks like I understand English and punctuation usage because I was onto something.  I’ll see where this goes and move from here.

P.S. I’m gonna try this method with the novel. I already know enough and it’s time to let the characters speak to each other.

Happy creative endeavors.

Wednesday Goodness

It’s been a few days of not feeling well, back in the sun (big mistake), going to bead early, and a doctor’s appointment early this morning. I was surprised I woke up that early, AND that I haven’t gulped down a large latte yet.  I did have a cup of coffee this morning, and that seems to be enough for me at the moment.  Oddly, when i don’t have a latte, I go to bed early. When I do have them, I tend to be awake for a while–like 2:30 AM without a hint of sleep in my system.

I’m grateful I went to sleep early, and that I wasn’t too groggy last night.  Mind you, I don’t like mornings, but I needed to see the doctor.  Learned my blood pressure is up, and that’s not good. Mind you, it’s not at a critical level, but I need to reduce that.

Spent a few days writing off/on for the novel, and it’s been like little visitations, then I’m off.  One thing that’s occurred to me is the main antagonist never shuts up.  he is in my head with lots of indignant comments that I put down when I can, but I am like dude, you’re killing me.  Shut up!  LOL  Lil bastard was like, “Excuse me? Where he hell do you get off? Read the marquis. I’m the headliner.”

Yes, he sassed me, but I love it. He’s too grown for his own good.  His comeuppance can’t arrive any sooner.   LOL

Happy creative endeavors.

 

Monday

I never feel like I feel terrific on Mondays. I know that’s silly of me, but I am grouchy, and I want coffee, and until thing I’d rather not socialize, which seems to give me life.

This weekend wasn’t terrible. Some writing mixed with a lot of gaming, and overall enjoying my weekend, minus a few frustrations. It wasn’t terrible at all. I needed to get myself into feeling like I could relax, and clear my mind of many things.  BTW gaming didn’t go 100 % well for me.  I flaked out on a group adventure, and was booted from the team. I got lost and couldn’t participate. Then I tried out some new characters in different games, and got mixed results that varied from ok to hot mess.

The worst was the conquest mode. I played my part, but it was a lot more work that the other modes, and a bit stressful.  I was not prepared for that, died constantly, and tried to fill my role until we lost.

To be fair to myself, when starting new roles, I was bound to make missteps, and of course, I learned from those missteps.

Other than that there was fun in gaming this weekend.

I’m Sick and Tired…Or Least I Was

For the past few days I’ve been under the weather. Allergies, congestion, and sinus pressure went gang busters on me AND I had a strong case of heat exhaustion. Needless to say I had little to no strength, stayed indoors, and tried not ti over exert myself. Stuff happens, and of course I just had to wade through it. That said, I found myself writing, as it was easier to do, and required me to be still enough to put things on paper, or on in a file. That I did without any fanfare. It was good. Started writing a chapter of the novel. It’s all rough as all get out, but I like what I’ve done.  Also had some ideas that I need to implement past the creative idea stage.

Now it’s time to take more steps towards being better. I need a latte.

Happy creative endeavors.

 

Monday

For the record, instead of spending all day gaming-and Smite does have a double XP event all weekend long-I did some writing. One of things I was inspired to rewrite is my synopsis for the novel. Essentially what happens in the story.  This process takes far longer than I imagined, since I have no real timetable, and inspiration hit me this morning as well. Try getting dressed while typing out info. It’s a real good challenge.

That said, my allergies are in rare form. I rend from stuffy nose, to runny nose, to eyes watering and burning.  Imagine writing or gaming while highly distracted by burning eyes. I didn’t let this steal my joy, and pushed through. I also took allergy meds to help myself. It takes a moment before it kicks in and I feel it.  Then my nostrils will feel raw/sensitive to everything.

At the moment, I may need a latte to offset my somewhat sluggish mood. I’d rather go back home to sleep and wake up some time late.  That couldn’t happen today, so I’m gonna think positive. Contemplate getting that latte, and try to stay on point.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

A Little Shameless Self-Promition

Growing up I was taught not to brag on myself, and now these days I can brag on my humility (humblebrag-as it is), however this is where I am when it comes to thinking about putting together a story proposal.  I dare say I’ll have to eat my modesty alive, and I don’t think I can…yet.

First, I’m reminded of a class I took on writing, where my professor told me that I needed to do more writing, and like a fool I completely forgot to add to my resume that I blogged for some time now, which was me writing on a regular basis.  Thus I was, then too modest, and remain so…most of the time.

To me promoting via proposal myself means embracing that I have a certain flair with my writing, a sense of humor, and that I wisely drop-kicked my modesty and shame down a flight of stairs soap opera style. My point is, sometimes my own writing can have a strong antiseptic approach, and I often fail at a delivery because the proper (correct) thing to do is be modest. Needless to say, how can a proposal or synopsis be interesting if I’m boring? I’m lucky people read it in the first place, but damn, I think I can push myself to forget that I don’t have to be right and correct all the time.

Sometimes foolishness must reign, and by foolishness I mean capitalizing on my fundamental silliness that is neither correct or posturing.  It’s just me being me, and happy. It’s also a me that really doesn’t worry about correctness, and being right, or proper.  So maybe I need to laugh at myself when it comes to my stories, and let the chips fall where they may, as opposed to being overly controlling of my writing.

As always, happy creative endeavors.