Friday

Woke up feeling like this Friday is a hot mess of waking up early (after going to bed late) and feeling like I’m not gonna be good this week. Never mind that I forgot to purchase some allergy meds when I had the chance, or that I have’t used the Netti pot to clear out my sinuses for the last two days. I am now known as the house of mucus. Gross. But funny, cause I know better.

That said I’m hearing voices. Character voices, and I’m like, talk to me.  Main character for the novel has a voice that I like, and will keep.  The villain has his voice down as well. Next, the MC’s ally has her voice, and a secondary character has her voice as well.  I missing several voices, however, before I know it, I’ll hear them too.  BTW this is the only acceptable time you’ll ever hear me condoning hearing voices.  If’s it’s not for a story, then I’d back away from the person, or their blog.  I jest cause I love peeps, and humor makes me feel good.

Today has been one of those days where I’m gonna go home, and I am positive I am going to lay down, but inside I know that’s a lie. I’m gonna play video games, cause a man my age should be out dating, and having drama that he’ll put in his stories that he’ll be sued for in the future by a bitter ex.  And she will be bitter cause I’m gaming, not dating, and didn’t watch the Lifetime made for TV movie with her.  I also binge watched the shows without her.  I’m a terrible fake boyfriend. To be fair she fake cheated on me with a cooler nerd, so gaming is my safe space.

That said it is Friday, I need to drink more water, and I think I have the library pretty much to myself now. Which means it will be a bigger safe space, cause libraries are wonder resources that are for the people.  No gaming though, which is a bummer, but what can I say. Time and place for everything. You wouldn”t take a shower in the rain on a city street, would you? I mean the rain water’s usually icy cold, and looks dirty.  It’ll like washing off in mud.  Time and place for your outer freakishness.

Happy creative endeavors.

 

I Lost My Wallet

Four words I never want to utter, nor think about. Yet today I did. Was sure my wallet was in my pocket, as I placed it there, or at least I thought I did when I was distracted.

Needless to say this morning as I knocked over some papers, bent to pick it up, I dropped my wallet in the process.  Without realizing this, I walked outta the house, got to work, and didn’t have a clue.

Of course, I needed to get some coffee, and I reached for my wallet, only to find it wasn’t there, and I had no clue as to where I misplaced it.  I retraced my steps, and it wasn’t outside.  I went into panic mode.  I got permission to go look for it, and went home thinking it may have fallen in my patio.

Over time I found where I dropped it, which was a relief, but I was rather dismayed that I could have potentially had my info and bank card stolen.  That’s all I need within the course of my day to be saddled with the drama of freezing my card, replacing my items, and just feeling ok.

Since I was able to calm down some, I’ve been trying to be grateful and should do some writing, which I haven’t, but for me, starting with a blog post helps put me in a writing frame of mind.

Happy creative endeavors.

Creativity

Realized I’m my happiest when I’m being creative.  This means I need more creativity in my days to make them richer and better. Perhaps I can create a project list for myself and manage how they are getting done. At least I’ll have things aligned to a particular way for my benefit.

That said, I did some writing in my notebook for the novel yesterday. It’s rough as all get out, and not even in a first draft of a chapter mode. Just me writing, and getting it from head to my notebook, and eventually my laptop/Word file.

Happy creative endeavors.

Fountain of Creativity

The migraine must have heralded a fount of creativity, as I found myself writing a lot more in my notebook.  Some of it was for the novel, and some were ideas that were chilling in my head.

I then typed them when I had the chance, just to give the concepts more of a visual presence outside of my notebook, and a little more organized.  I need to keep working on them.

The ideas have a sort of cohesive, related theme, which is probably why they seems so clear to me yesterday.   One of my teachers once said, we write the same story over and over. Don’t know how true that is, but I do visit a lot of the same themes.

Some older ideas popped up as well, which meant they needed to be written down.  Once story I had so many questions, I typed them out, and hope to answer those quuestions soon.

The novel keeps taking these turns. Wrote down a possible rewrite by hand, and after thinking on it overnight, I realized I missed something, and will add that to the story soon.  Need to go back to the outline and add this as well.

Some of the dialogue I wrote out needs revisions, as I’ve thought of some new lines, and others I need to scrap.  It will work itself out.  I am happiest when I’m creative. so I love those aspects.  Gotta keep being creative.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Simply Complicated

Yesterday a friend suggested–to solve my woes with the main character, that I ask myself, “what does this character really want, and then let him know he will NEVER have what he wants. His reaction to this is what will determine his character.”

That sounded so simple, until I tried to answer the question. Then my brain hurted (yes, I am fully aware that “hurted” is not a word–thought it was funny).

At first I went with his occupation, and knew he was having drama with his career as a painter,  and wanted to be taken seriously as an artist, but that wasn’t it.

The main character struggles with his desire intimacy: He wants to be in love, feel wanted, and be touched, however there’s a vicious social taboo on him.

So knowing he’s longing for something out of reach, I’ve placed him in an open spotlight where he’s the center of attention and controversy. This cause some people to panic, and have some spiteful, petty, and bigoted reactions.

So he wants intimacy, but needs to be respected as well.

His reaction to these events I haven’t fully figured out yet. I don’t want him to run and hide. He needs to stand firm, even though he’s risking harm cause people go out of their way to be petty and evil under the cloak of righteousness.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Fear

So as I keep working on the novel and progressing, I get this fear going on. A fear that I haven’t developed the main character enough. I’ve done so much world and character building, I hadn’t stopped until now to examine the character.

Also I feel like I’m trying to avoid the issue with him. I’m rather frustrated with myself. I put in my notes that I needed to be more blunt and honest in the writing, otherwise it will look like I’m dancing around the characters and situations without really dealing with them.

Maybe this is anxiety, or me reminding myself to stay on point. Whatever it is, I feel like I need to manage it, and get underway.  Part of what I looked at is whether or not the character is noble (or has a noble sentimentality), or is more of a rogue.

Part of me likes the idea of someone who has faced adversity and willing to fight more in a righteous way. I also love that a person can be lovable and not always willing to do the right thing, and make a hell of a lot of mistakes.

Heroes do know sacrifice, which is inherent in their life and noble.  I dunno. I’m indecisive at the moment.  Maybe it needs to marinate overnight now that I’ve dragged the fear to light and faced it.  No blinking. Gotta get this done.

Happy creative endeavors.

Tricky Behavior

Let me start by saying writing a novel is complicated. I feel like it’s continuous activities that never cease. I have four books I need to glance over for research, and still have to write more. Was looking over one of the ally characters, who more or less didn’t have a strong presence in the story other than being mentor-ish.  He evolved into a trickster who was a bit too cunning and I quickly became unsure of who’s side he was really on, and what he was up to.  Needless to say I jotted down a lot of notes to help “see” this character stronger.

The second all I did see and develop in her own right so she stood out. Not a trickster, but I have a story arc for her that’s good, and ties into other characters, so she’s on point for the moment.  The third all I have no clue what he’s up to and feel he’s in the same place the first all was. He’s not going to be a trickster, but I need to figure out where/who he is, or he’s just hanging about saying “hello,” and being pretty much a lampshade in the corner collecting dust.

For the most part the main genre has stayed the same, which is bizarro, and there’s a lot more to do.  Started drafting a new outline, so I hope I’m moving forward. To paraphrase a former instructor, “resolve your story issues in your outline, or you may get stuck.”  If not, you may hear about it via the blog.  LOL

Happy creative endeavors.