One Word At A Time

Y’all, I am very tried, and stressed. My schedule changed for what I thought was for good. It was earlier than usual, but it was consistent, which made all the difference.  Needles to say my sleep pattern, my eating habits have gone to heck…again.  Now there’s talk of making more changes.

My creativity has bounced up and down so much that it has upset me.  I like to keep something going, and I’m not.  I feel like I got mauled by chaos.  That does not mean I gave up, or giving up.

It means I need to get myself back into writing, which is something not only that I love to do, but is a positive force in my life. I can’t lose the one thing that makes my days brighter.

My emotions are all over the place, as I am frustrated, sad, anxious, and nervous about getting creative endeavors done.  It’s like a crisis before the actual work gets done (pre-crisis?). So now that I have a moment, I need to relax, breathe, and put together a realistic plan.

First, I’m blogging. Second, I need a sharper plan to execute creative goals. I intend to complete some projects, and put some on hold. I don’t want to put them on hold, but I know everything can’t and won’t be done. I have to see some tangible results before the end of the year.

Happy creative endeavors.

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“C and Split the Difference”

“C” is for confidant, or “Stay confidant.” It’s my mantra when approaching goals, as my days stay chaotic.  I wish to keep myself moving forward with my dreams and goals, and even small tasks have been tied up, so a pleasant reminder helps.

“Split the Difference”  is me wanting to buy something, and it costs a lot. I tell myself simply cut the amount I want to spend. This is helping my reduce spending, and get on top of bills.

That said, I’m been reduced to a day of blogging, as my hours have changed more, and I’m working six days a week. Needless to say, that has really been tiring. My eating/appetite went deep into chaos. Sleep is a hot mess.

Still, I’m going to press forward, let the negative fall to the wayside, and keep looking at my own goals for personal growth and success. Not giving up on myself.

Happy creative endeavors.

Truth Is…

Trut is I haven’t been blogging much, but it didn’t mean I stopped writing, which kept up.  I’ve also been taking writing more classes and trying to get myself in order. On top of that it seems my schedule has conflicted with everything; my life, diet, sleep, and creativity.  I am not a happy camper.

That out of the way, let’s talk of pleasant things.  One of my writing lessons has been to look for the emotional payoff of characters in a story.  So, the question of “what’s this story really about,” sunk in for me.

After much contemplation I found myself writing down something that was too real and raw for me, personally.  It really pinched a nerve, in addition to being an emotion I felt I could explore and discuss.

My initial reaction was to pause, let the words cool down, then I went on to working on technical aspects (outline). Still there’s an elephant in my room that’s being ignored, because I felt I was shying away from my own story/character epiphany.

So as chaotic as things may be, the current goal is to get back to the heart of what I discovered, write it out, and work through a pinched moment.

On a side note I am glad I paused from blogging.  It helped me want to blog again.

Happy creative endeavors.

No Bad Dreams Allowed

Last night I had a dream where I decided to take up running. Cool running outfit and everything. As I ran, I was ready for the pain associated with me trying to exercise; shortness of breath, pain in my legs, and chest, and wanting to fall on the floor and lay there until I calm down.

To my surprise, there was no pain, or negative symptoms. Even better I felt energized, so I kept running.  I woke up from that dream feeling happy. It that moment I saw myself as strong, enduring, and moving towards greatness and happiness.

I like this dream, simple, sweet, and didn’t have me waking up feeling confused, disrupted, or upset — as sometimes my dreams can leave me in those states.  

For the record, I don’t know what this dream fully meant. My interpretation is that I’m doing something good, or about to go in the right direction. Can I have more dreams like this one?  

That said I wasn’t writing for a few weeks as things got very chaotic, BUT I think I was fortunate to have the luxury to abandon projects temporarily. As I review the notes I see them with fresher, eyes. Some things make more sense, and had me thinking and writing down  my thoughts.  

Happy creative endeavors.  

The Artist: Part Two

So then I wondered, why am I apologizing for stuff that hasn’t been even shown to others yet?

It’s easy for me to want and wish for approval. The scale of likability goes up for material produced or published—but even then that’s no guarantee people will approve and like the material, or myself.  So this is the wrong way.

It’s also easy to fear my own potential. Have I gone too far? Did I go far enough? Did I learn my techniques properly enough to execute my visions?

There must be an unflinching bond of trust between the subject, the actual project, and myself.

I must be willing to accept the consequences of my works—misunderstood, or not. I don’t owe anyone anything, least of all, and apology for quality content. The only exception this rule is I go in half-assed, and the material suffers/meanders. That’s’ gross unprofessionalism.

Furthermore I have to believe that I will put together solid works from start to finish. If I’m willing to be responsible for the content, I must not rely on the content to sustain my ego. I’m not an artist because I need adoration.  I happen to love being creative, and don’t mind growing and sharing my material.

The Artist: Part One

As I put away books, I stumbled across random bits of information. One of the subjects was about various artists, and their point of views.  While not intended as research, it fit the bill for that moment perfectly.

One thing I saw that was consistent, and reinforced by my own teachings, was that artists often act and react to subjects. They present their work, and rarely do they apologize. The material can be bold, audacious, engaging, exceptional or vulgar as all get out.

Regardless of the medium, artists can capture moments, stir responses from us (positive or negative), and even force us to confront elements that we may or may not wish to deal with or discuss at the time.

For example, a topic like child abuse, or racism can make us all squirm, but there usually is a point that’s presented and confronts us in some works. The topics can be as simple as eyes, shoelaces, or doors, but they still can be delivered in a variety of ways.

It reminds and reinforces me to create and deliver without feeling a need to sugar coat, sterilize, sanitize, or apologize about my own works. Furthermore, sometimes you really don’t have to elaborate. Let the material speak for itself.

An Emotional Response

Here’s something I was thinking about, in regards to writing stories and scripts. I was wondering what and how I, the writer, can create something that I, the viewer, could emotionally respond to. Sounds simpler in my head.

A while ago, I wrote out a story where the characters’ actions dictated a lot of the conflict, as opposed to dialogue. It had a sense of urgency and danger, and I kept the scene, not knowing how or when to use it.

I experimented with this method a couple of times, then abandoned it. There was, however, something to be said when you can only imagine parts of the sounds and words, as well as feeling the urgency and danger.

I think that time has come to revisit this aspect of writing.  I don’t have a why now so much as it crossed my mind moment, and I’m always looking at ways to tell stories and retain some impact past a moment.

Happy creative endeavors.