Revisions (Part 1 of 3)

Hello all,

A fellow poster asked about my revisions for my novel, and I decided to post a small section of it. I’ll start with the original draft of this scene, then the subsequent revisions (I made two additional ones).

Please keep in mind that the post is  genre fiction  and contains elements of urban fantasy and bizarro. Also the description is OK to me, what I worked on was the exchange at the end, but for the sake of posting, I needed to give people context.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Nutbush was a sleepy town with little to do, but maintain its peace.  The homes were simple, clean, and neatly manicured. The people were decent, pleasant enough, and always made sure their public glyphs and wards were clean. They put them on statues, posts, sidewalks, and walls.

Nutbush boasted cobblestone streets, gaslight lampposts, and steam-powered cars. The residents adored their throwback aesthetics, and that flow of the city presented a sort of background noise people either tuned out, or appreciated as part of the charm.  They were also proud of their wards and glyphs carved deep into lovely plaques throughout the town. It kept the rogue magic away and seemingly too many tourists who enjoyed the aesthetics of the town.

Within the park, a few joggers ran the path of the square, as others passed by in cars, tooting their horn from time to time, only to earn stares from everyone for being so damn noisy.  They hailed each other with smiles as thy passed each other.

Timothy Guthrie strolled through the square as he typically did, well-dressed and with the local paper under his arm.  He spotted Felix wiping down the square’s wards with a damp cloth from a bucket of water and orange-glittery substance.  As Felix wiped the park’s glyphs and the orange glitter dissolved into the plaques. He slathered a healthy portion onto the plague under the statue of Beauregard Clemmings, town founder.

“How are you doing today?” Timothy asked.

“The usual,” Felix responded. “Cleaning our good wards”

“Have they been tested recently? They look clean and all, but how potent are they?”

“You know the mayor. Less tests means less red tape, and budgetary expenses.”

Timothy laughed. “That fool’s gonna kill us one day with his cheapness.”

 

 

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