When it comes to my art, I find that I am the one limiting myself more than any outside voice ever could. I remember when I feared rejection as an undergrad and kept trying in visual and written art. I remember when my visual skills failed to excite people in MFA programs, and if you don’t follow academic formulas, it can be soul crushing. It WAS soul crushing. I did less and less visual art.
Writing I’ve done since a child. I’ve always wanted to soak up more writing and reading. I always have more to learn, and I keep working at it, despite any setbacks. I’ll be damned if if I let someone tell me I can’t pursue a path I set for myself. I remember when my screenwriting skills were rejected for an MFA program. It was soul crushing then, but I never stopped writing, and I took more classes.
I have a built-in comfort zone which screams, “I have self-imposed rules too keep me apologetic.” More and more, I’m finding I don’t want to apologize when it comes to art and decisions. I don’t need to explain every nuance, and I sure don’t need anyone to tell me how to think or feel. What doesn’t meet academic heights doesn’t mean I’ve failed, or fallen.
Where is this desire to be free of all constraints and looking back coming from? More writing. The more I write stories, the harder I try to complete stories.I want to explore new directions, subject matter, emotions, and scenarios. Taking a workshop, learning new ways of writing, and trying even harder to put together a pitch for and complete a novel has me thinking how to improve at my craft. Seeing myself as the artist is the first step.
So, for all those who read this, if your path is blocked, know that you will find a way to your goals if you truly want them.
I should do more visual art and if it don’t fit, it don’t fit. I love it though.
As always happy creative endeavors.