Part of unlocking thoughts for problems comes from discussing them, or writing them out. This is what’s at the heart of this post. A while ago I decided I wanted to write a melodrama screenplay. It was partly inspired by old Douglas Sirk films, having chaos in my real life, and my background (southern, black, academic, blogging). It would also be a story that was a bit bleak and chaotic.
I wrote out a plot for it immediately, then shelved it. I liked what I wrote, but I misplaced the text. Later on, I rewrote the text from memory.
Part of the time, I fussed over the title, like it was that deep an issue. I said a good title will make the story, and refused to progress without one. Finally I had a title That satisfied me. The project was abandoned again.
So why am I dreading my own creation? The story partly morphed (not a real excuse). It became more about sidepieces, and less about what I imagined it to be.
I further became overly concerned about how the material would be received. This story not a lovely story filled with delightful characters. The characters can be really awful to each other, and themselves.
I’ve been immersed in reading commentary, and reviews from people who overly think all characters should be representing and inclusive of all people, thus characters cease being characters, and more symbolic of perfection and nobility. I don’t believe I was meant to write like that.
The whole line of thinking reminds me of being young, having religious teachings, and feeling a pressure to conform to a certain point of view. It’s not 100% the same, but it’s got a cyclical flavor to it. If you stray from a perceived pattern, some wish to shut you down.