The KMAS Story

For the record the KMAS means “kiss my ass,”and if you get the holiday pun wrapped in the title, huzzah. What I’m attempting to do is write in a way that gets me out of my rut, the overall worry that the title is rude, or I’m stuck on my hang-ups about being too damn polite.

Granted, no amount of swear words will make you seem cool, fun, or edgy, I’m not any of those. This is me contemplating what a “Kiss My Ass Story really entails. Trying to imagine it, what does it mean. How could I put it into words. Is someone really kissing a butt.? Is someone being told off? What if the main character kissed a special ass, then a miracle would happen. However the person who’s butt it is, doesn’t want people near it, especially the main character since they detest each other.

That’s a concept. It could evolve. The title could morph. It may not.  It may need that to keep a visual. This is just me with a random thought in my head, and a wealth of imagination to turn something with such disdain into humor. As i write this, I know it won’t be charming or graceful, but am I charming and graceful.  Charming? Yes, I can be. Graceful? No, and I’ve tried. I stomp the daisies in the field of social graces.

Happy creative endeavors.

Happy New Years.

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My Dreadful Thing Part 2

Not that I can control anyone’s perspective, but there were things that I dreaded. For one, the story is not a critique of black families. It is not a critique of men, women, races, the south, wealth, or sexuality. It’s all about family with some scandals, chaos, and drama going on. For the record I know many of the character’s are in the wrong. They don’t represent, and they for sure are doing some bad things. Also life is unfair. Stuff happens, and often.

From a personal standpoint, I know writing about topics in less than good lights can set some on their ear. I also know people love to see representations of themselves. All I can say is art doesn’t need to be compromised or comply to make a political statement. It can, but my goal isn’t to confront

I don’t know if the artist is supposed to give one anything other than quality. Quality isn’t necessarily inclusive. It’s not always cheery, noble, or empowering the way people seem so hungry to digest. Melodrama isn’t necessarily empowering.

So, I need to stop dissuading myself and write my melodrama. I know what I’m writing. I know what it isn’t. I know I don’t need to apologize for working on something that isn’t inclusive, noble, or empowering. Stories can be about anything, not one lane. I hope that 2015 will yield products, success, and less worries over thin air.

Happy creative endeavors.

My Dreadful Thing Part 1

Part of unlocking thoughts for problems comes from discussing them, or writing them out. This is what’s at the heart of this post. A while ago I decided I wanted to write a melodrama screenplay. It was partly inspired by old Douglas Sirk films, having chaos in my real life, and my background (southern, black, academic, blogging). It would also be a story that was a bit bleak and chaotic.

I wrote out a plot for it immediately, then shelved it. I liked what I wrote, but I misplaced the text. Later on, I rewrote the text from memory.

Part of the time, I fussed over the title, like it was that deep an issue. I said a good title will make the story, and refused to progress without one. Finally I had a title That satisfied me. The project was abandoned again.

So why am I dreading my own creation? The story partly morphed (not a real excuse). It became more about sidepieces, and less about what I imagined it to be.

I further became overly concerned about how the material would be received. This story not a lovely story filled with delightful characters. The characters can be really awful to each other, and themselves.

I’ve been immersed in reading commentary, and reviews from people who overly think all characters should be representing and inclusive of all people, thus characters cease being characters, and more symbolic of perfection and nobility. I don’t believe I was meant to write like that.

The whole line of thinking reminds me of being young, having religious teachings, and feeling a pressure to conform to a certain point of view. It’s not 100% the same, but it’s got a cyclical flavor to it. If you stray from a perceived pattern, some wish to shut you down.

Tuesday Drama

Things to do, issues to resolve, major irritations that need to calm down. The day starts with me getting organized, blogging, and writing. Needed to have some silence in order to write, but that’s not going to happen soon. There are too many distractions. I’m rather irritated, and lost my focus. Perhaps later, with some music, I’ll get that groove back.

Have a desire to look at some old short stories I wrote, reclaim them, and send them off to publishers. I’ll have to take the time to read what I have. Some of them I feel like I didn’t explore a theme, but have an opportunity to address this fact. Some of them stories struggle with fitting a category.

Wrote an outline for a character’s story arc for the TV show. I’m glad I did that. It’s an interesting situation going on, so I’m glad I completed it. Now I have a few more to do, make sure the theme works out, and things shall flow better. I need to revise the list of characters, think out scenes and draft them soon.

My Risks Management

Today I chatted with a friend about writing, and writing techniques. I recommend “craft chatting” to all artists. Find a friend who is also a peer, and speak on your crafts. It felt great to discuss issues with someone who could not only relate, but suggest positive solutions.

One thing we discussed was how stories/words affect people, and how we write them. For me, I know sometimes I feel like I should be less self-conscious of my work. Being a staunch self-censor myself, the problem stared me down. I liken censoring to stage fright: I forget all the lines and forgot to be funny, witty, and entertaining. The mystical comes
Off as antiseptic and bland.

As an artist, I know that sometimes images can sometimes confront, or expose aspects that we weren’t ready to receive. Just as they may inspire or delight a viewer. I wouldn’t apologize for any imagery I’ve created. From my point of view, what you get is what you see. If you don’t like the images, feel free to move on. I’m good with that action. As to why I haven’t adopted this philosophy into my writing, well that’s just fear.

I have to be willing to risk people seeing my stories as possibly being confrontational, angry, emotional, whatever feeling they may see within the text. Any story I wrote may even turn people off 100%. That’s ok to happen. There has to be an explicit decision to be true to the craft, and a willingness to write without filters, binders, or limitations.

That said. I’m being overly mannered, and that may be a politeness, it’s not being kind to myself as an artist. Even further, I know I can do better than fearing my own voice. I don’t have to fear other people’s reaction-positive or negative because that’s beyond my control, and should not factor into how I create. I should be getting the job done that I set out to complete.

More importantly, if I fear my own voice, who do I expect to read and enjoy my material? Hoping someone will accept mannered/affected writing doesn’t ring true for me. It needs to be something I can stand behind always. By “mannered,” I mean I wrote something, and it wasn’t awful, but offbeat. Not too shocking. Not anywhere near offensive. I thought it would be rude, and stopped developing the text. That has to stop.

So, I have to be willing to write without a filter and get over being so mannered. It’s not helping me succeed. It’s blocking quality and blessings. So I better work on my risking not being so polite and affected.

As always, happy creative endeavors.

Get Better, Do Better

Today I was feeling overly-relaxed while I tended to some social media and various websites. It wasn’t until I turned on the laptop that I was reminded that I need to update my blog. How could I forget? I was far too relaxed. My mind’s on writing, so before I do anything else that’s relaxing, I need to put some words to paper. That’s a MUST. I can’t have my day flow any other way today. Also thought of how negative energies and thoughts impact our lives. It really pays for me to put more effort into not thinking of negative thoughts. The goal is to be open to positive possibilities, in spite of chaos.

So I hope that I can get more things done without me feeling annoyed, pensive, or distracted. There always seems to be something going on that I kind of wish I didn’t have to deal with, but deal with them I shall. Perhaps if I took some time to reflect on what needs to be done, and how t get it done, the path shall be clear for me. I need to focus on today. Make sure by time I go to sleep I have done some rewarding creativity. I guess I’m saying I feel like I’m in a rut, however, I believe that the rut is for the moment, not the entire day.

I am so distracted by it that doesn’t need to be in my head right now. Thank goodness I can get back to writing. C’mon brain, work with me.

Happy creative endeavors.

Series Bible

Doing some mad job hunting, which is always good. It is a job trying to get a job.  better to be vigilant about it, than to sit and hope. A lot of doors are closed to me, but that doesn’t mean giving up.  Giving up means thinking life is over. Since I’m awake, I can move about, and I have faith that success comes from diligence, it’s time to go to work.

Speaking of work, for the past few days, I’ve been trying to organize how this TV show I’m writing flows. In the past I stumbled a whole lot, and still stumbling. I couldn’t make the storylines work. Even further I had a lot of ideas, and those ideas seemed a bit random and unfocused. I forget sometimes that sometimes a story starts with randomness.  My job is to remember writing is rewriting. Don’t give up completely. Always return, reclaim, and revise.

What I decided a few days ago is to outline the first four episodes, which I did. The story felt a little stronger, and coherent.  Something still was off for me. A little later, I began working on the series bible with the focus on one main character. The series bible is the overall direction and viewpoint of a show/book/universe. It’s a tool for knowing who is who, what is where. Anyone working on the series would read this, and get an understanding of the world.

This effort more positive as I focused on a main character, and how to make the series flow a lot better now that I know who to give the most time towards. This character sees the world, and gives us an anchor of sorts. At least thats my hope for the character.  I need to do more writing. The bible also discusses my inspirations, and what I’d like to see and do, so it’s also kind of like theory, or world creation theory.

That’s a relief, and requires that I do more writing, as there is more of the world I need to explore, and be clear on. At least clear enough to move forward without feeling like its a misstep. So this is a positive direction.  The bible needs a lot of work, but in one day I managed to see a good patter. As I type this, I have more ideas, and even some new characters that may or may not work, but I think they will play off the main character pretty well.

I also want to address some more female characters into the story. They’re kind of lacking at the moment. By characters I don’t mean all heroes, but I’d like someone to challenge the main characters with smarts. I want some freaking cool villains who aren’t afraid to kick a puppy if it stood in the way of their goals. As I typed that, let me be clear that I like my villains ruthless, and I don’t endorse kicking puppies/enemies in real life.

As always, happy creative endeavors.