Mixed Feelings

While the weekend has it’s blah moments, now is not one of them. Late last night, I spent some time going over entries in my Notes app. One of them was an abandoned ending to one of my current short stories. Now, what bothers me about this, is as I read it, I liked  what I read. It made sense to me when at the time it didn’t. So I decided, since I have yet to submit the story go ahead and convert the text to a Word document and format it, so I can see if it still has merit.

My own conflict is that this former ending not only changes the current ending, but adjusts the way I see the story. While not completely, the protagonist sees what the problem is in the story, and addresses it partly. Part of me understands why I abandoned it. While the problem is seen, and somewhat understood by the protag, I knew that the protag would not change with this knowledge, or do anything to make changes. It also doesn’t address all of the character’s shortcomings.  It’s sort of like the character keeps lying to themselves, and therefore it’s not a real revelation or epiphany. Still it resonated part the way.

I must also add it strips out the darker, psychological elements I placed in the current ending. It’s got an “I really messed up this time,” type of feel, but it doesn’t warrant me adjusting the ending. Still it was good to note, and write about. For a brief moment I thought about adding it in, and making another draft. I think I’d be unsatisfied with this one, and go back to the draft before.

Also late last night I found myself writing on a couple of horror stories that in one way is more about me writing them out than taking seriously. I want to write without getting too heavy in the thought/structure process. If all I do is write a couple of paragraphs per day on this story, then I’m fine with that. I just want a flow of story. it doesn’t need to be correct or perfect, just have words on the page.

Happy creative endeavors.

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