Letting go of fears is never easy. In fact it’s downright scary. No pun intended. In my case, after talking with a friend about negative forces in our lives, fear and chaos are the forces often dominate their ways into my life. One reason to let go of both is that they block the true blessings God has in store for me, and I feel that I need to be free of this weight.
In small doses, fear is manageable, and a little fear is healthy. I learned that in my public speaking and theater classes. A little fear reminds us all that we are human and we can muster our courage to stand up in front of others and present or perform. For exams, I always felt a little fear, but I studied for those classes, and received passing grades. Usually I found out the fear was minimal and positive. It helped me realize that it was a test. It was trying something unknown, and accepting that I could do this.
Chaos, or drama comes in all sorts of flavors. For me personally, my drama is simple, and equally manageable. Personally, I prefer my drama in fiction. I find I face a lot of external drama. A lot of people feel good about dumping their baggage on others. I’m not talking about friends. I listen to my friends who need vent from time to time, and we support each other. That’s not drama in the least. Friends know from the start when it’s venting. Drama is people who do have issues, big or small, and attempt to drop them over my (and others) head for me to deal with. The consequences of such toxic dumps is never a consideration.
I can’t tell you how many places I’ve been (classes, work, public) where people brought the drama out and dumped on whomever was near. It’s written on their faces, their attitudes, what they say, and their actions. Some took delight in the dumping. Others seemed in need of a friend, or someone to listen. I’m all for finding friends and venting, but let’s be friends first. I can tell you I’ve seen a lot of people who think they are smug in their superiority to others, yet the layers fall off like an onion. One can’t be superior if they are smug. One can’t be lofty if their layers peel. One cannot claim righteous when everything about them screams they need relief from whatever nine-hundred lb. gorilla climbed on their back, refusing to leave.
Today my fears are about acceptance – I want situations to work well, and come off as likable, and enjoyable for all. That is an impossibility, and rather a foolish goal. Not everyone will like everything (and in many cases anything) I do. Even better they may not like or resent me for whatever reason (it doesn’t matter why they resent me in the least-I’m not in charge of their emotions). I’ve faced a lot of disrespect, and thought by not addressing it, that I was being peaceful, and compromising kept everyone happy. That’s being complacent, and it serves no one. I ask myself, “how do I resolve anything if I’m not willing to address the issues?”
The answer is simple. Let the fear and drama go. No one needs it, unless it goes into the fiction, and only the fiction.
Happy creative endeavors.