A FTP Moment

I’m about to make some pancakes cause I’m in dire need of some good breakfast foods, but I wanted to get started on today’s post.  Yesterday was a breakthrough of sorts with me running errands, job hunting, and denying myself a latte due to budget constraints.  I’m saving that latte for this Sunday when I’m all out meh and blah, and waiting keeps me from OD’ing on my fave drink which can and will snatch up with my congestion like a big bully on a playground.  If push comes to shove I do have coffee in my house, which also has to be doled out sparingly.  If anything the coffee may allow me to keep away from the latte for a rough weekend when I crave one.  Coffee and chocolate really have nasty holds on me.  Good thing it’s still legal. A legal ban on both would possibly transform me in bad ways.

Yesterday I wrote on my personal blog FTP or “fuck this post,” which was about me getting frustrated about the quality of my writing, and decided that FTP was the best option, and to write with a don’t give a damn type of attitude.  This lead to a better post.  In hindsight I’ve done this for years with papers for English and Cinema classes.  I got so frustrated with trying to write in a rational, logical way that I would go into a FTP zone and produce something.  At that point it didn’t matter if it was perfect or not.  It was done.  I love those moments.  I forgot this over time, being too preoccupied with my own development. I’ll say this again, there are times that I really need to get over myself. I’m pleased.

For the record this isn’t a FTP type of post. I feel no block to express myself, nor am I trapped.  In fact i feel calm and without pressure to write. I suppose this is an alternate mode of writing for me, as I know clearly what I need to express.  Expect a few of them with the cinema reviews as I sometimes tumble with them and I feel a bit awful trying to get those completed.  Good Lord, sometimes the dynamics of writing feel daunting, and other times as carefree as the day.


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