OK, I’m being very chicken shit right now by not choosing the screenplays I need to complete for my portfolio. I get like that sometimes, mentally congested. It’s not writer’s block. I know I can write, but when I get too wimpy about the decisions I know its time for one thing, and that’s a new blog post.
Today is the day I decided to get to writing, and if that means I have to write twenty blog posts to get the juices flowing, then I will. I admit I do love science fiction/fantasy then immediately shied away from it because I fear everyone’s reaction to the material. OK. I just lost one big battle without even trying. That’s beyond fail. That’s just a sad state of affairs.
I’ve decided to go back to a few projects I created a while back and will develop them irregardless of how insecure I feel now. They are already strong concepts that need direction. It’s my duty to make these screenplays shine.
So now I have my four screenplays. They come at the top of my development list. I will work on others after these. For the record, the genres are contemporary fantasy, superhero, comedy, and comedy-horror. Don’t care what’s trending. These guys are at the top of my list. Suck it indecision!
Now onto TV scripts. I originally wanted two, but I feel a need to ambitiously try three. For those I have science fiction, horror and comedy shows to develop. Now to commit more to the project.
P.S. This in no way diminishes the time and energy placed into my thesis. If I have to write a blog post to keep up the groove on a daily basis I will.
For those not in the know, thesis can be a real challenge. Writing challenges I love, but for better or worse the process can take its toll. Even further in my challenge,trying to narrow the scope and methodology has been a real struggle. To quote a good friend, “thinking hurts.” To add to his phrase, “thinking hurts often.” I found myself feeling like I’m not getting things done efficiently, therefore I find myself being most frustrated with the process.
Well over the weekend I did not do my five pages of thesis or any reading in part because I got sick, and my congestion really pulled a number on me to a point where I needed to not do anything too stressful. I gave myself all the time I needed to recover for the illness. I’m still not up to 100% but I’m good to go.
Today my brain must have caught up with the rest of me because I had all these ideas I jotted in my notepad for my thesis. I’m more than pleased with the results, and later tonight I will have to type them. I’ve narrowed the scope and methodology of my thesis, which it needed.
I suppose this means I should learn to let things go for a while or allow myself to do other things than the main project once in a while to let my mind sort out what I’ve got on the table. It’s not that all the research is done. I spotted a book I’d LOVE to have for the research and that means more reading, which has never been an issue. I want t, however, back away from thesis from time to time, and allow my mind to digest what I have so far. That also means letting go of the guilt of not working on the project once and a while.
When I’m on point for writing, I do get a lot done. There’s no shame in backing away from a project to let it breath and to rest my mind. I see that like right now. I so want to post this ASAP, but I feel I should allow it to breathe. It will be posted, but like scope and methodology, it takes time.
It’s been a fruitless week of not doing a damn thing with my thesis, which to me is pure failure. I have got to get five pages done this weekend. It galls me to think I’ve stalled and dried up. Booo to that bullshit. A Brother needs to get himself on top of his game and quit playing. This means sitting down and beating the hell out of my thesis topic and narrowing down the scope and methodology. While I’d love to applaud that I’m reading new books to expand my viewpoint, I need to read more.
Normally I say “writing is rewriting” which is still true. What I can add to this is that research for my thesis means rewriting and revising. I’m happy for this. it means I haven’t gotten complacent with the current material. It also means that I need to get off my duff and read more. I have articles and books laid out before me that I need to crack open and get things done.
Between me opening several books, marking chapters for Thesis Friday, I really have a strong need to get this work cited for my paper. The reading is not bad. I rather enjoy the process of learning. Yes, I’m academically-minded. I’m excited as to where this leads.
Promised myself to update my blog today. After all I do have the time, and I need to write more. I feel I’m cheating by not writing. Even if it’s a small paragraph. I have to get my writing going.
While I managed to add a few more pages to my thesis, and update my works cited page, there is still a lot more to do. I feel the need to hide myself away from the world and get things done. Zero disturbances and then I can make the best of this situation. I’m finding that in order to write I need to be away from others. This writer must forego all the social aspects of life to get things in order. I really need to edit what’s on the table.
I also did some research today, which meant reading more, which was good for the project. Getting more information helps me to focus the topic a lot stronger. At this moment I think I’m near the topic, but not feeling like my thesis topic has weight to it yet. I did jot down more notes and I am curious as to how things will shape up.
I decided that before I go any further with pages I needed to narrow my focus much more significant;y than I did before. That meant addressing all the questions I’m supposed to ask during the preliminary research phase, which I did, but never clarified. This means I need to address the proposal stage of writing the research paper.
Needless to say I went to the computer lab and forgot my notebook, which had all my current ideas written down. That is what I get for not packing the night before. I still had several notes and info with me so I worked from there, and managed to bounce some ideas off of a friend since we meet up on Fridays.
What would be a simple page of information turned into two pages of me doing some fact finding and looking up some sources. Luckily I kept my Key Concepts book with me. Mind you the notes I took form this book were still at home. They had to be redone. So now I have a more clarified paper and can narrow my thoughts and research. \We call that scope and methodology.
So the revised proposal got a cooling off period while I played Dragon Age 2, and today I will look over my notes to see if anything can add to what’s been written. I have to watch t least one of the films in the paper, and take notes on it. Maybe today. No big plans outside of enjoying this day.